God of wisdom, as we listen to the Scriptures today, fill our hearts and minds with your living Word, so that our faith in Christ will grow stronger as we build our lives on him. Amen.
New Testament Reading: Ephesians 4:25-32
Have you ever tried to forgive someone—and found it harder than you thought it would be? Maybe the wound was deep, the apology never came, or maybe the hurt still lingers, no matter how much time has passed. Forgiveness can feel like one of the hardest things God asks us to do. And yet, again and again, Scripture calls us to it—not as an option, but as a way of life.
At the heart of the Christian faith is the story of forgiveness: God forgiving us through the sacrifice of Jesus. And we are called to extend that same grace to one another—not because people always deserve it, but because we didn’t deserve it either.
Today, we’re going to explore what it really means to forgive. We’ll look at why it matters, how it heals, and what it says about the God we follow. Forgiveness isn’t forgetting, and it’s not excusing. It’s choosing freedom over bitterness, grace over resentment, and love over revenge.
Let’s open our hearts today to what God might want to release in us—and through us—as we learn what it means to truly forgive one another.
And to do so, we’re going to look at some verses from a letter which Paul wrote to the church which was in the city of Ephesus. And to help us better understand Paul’s purpose behind writing this letter, we need to have a look at the history of the church in Ephesus.
We first read about it in the Book of Acts where the Apostle Paul and two of his fellow missionaries, Priscilla and Aquilla, arrive in Ephesus and go to the synagogue where Paul teaches them about Jesus as being the promised Messiah for all mankind. After spending some time teaching there, Paul continued with his missionary journey but left Priscilla and Aquila to build up the church. Through their efforts it continued to grow and included both Jews and Gentiles amongst its members. Later, Paul would return to Ephesus and spend nearly three years there, preaching and teaching.
And now over 5 years have passed since Paul has left Ephesus for the second time, and he has ended up in a prison in Rome. However, some of his trusted companions have kept him updated on the condition of the churches he helped establish. But in the case of the church in Ephesus, it’s not all good news. There has been some conflict amongst the members, and it has grown to the point where the church is about to split. And so, he writes a letter to encourage and unify the believers in their faith and identity in Christ. By doing so, he hopes to resolve the conflict among the members and restore unity within the church.
Our reading this morning from this letter opened with these words, “So then, putting away falsehood, let all of us speak the truth to our neighbours, for we are members of one another.” This is actually a quote from the Old Testament book of Zechariah, which says, “These are the things that you shall do: Speak the truth to one another, render in your gates judgements that are true and make for peace, do not devise evil in your hearts against one another, and love no false oath; for all these are things that I hate, says the Lord.” (Zechariah 8:16-17)
Of course, in Paul’s day, our New Testament didn’t exist, so the people studied the word of God in what is called the Tanakh, which is the Hebrew scriptures. And in quoting this verse Paul is telling them that speaking the truth in love can be a healing strategy in a situation of anger. This advice from Zechariah speaks honestly about what’s really going on. It holds people responsible, expresses emotions, and acknowledges when we ourselves have done wrong. When anger is the driving force behind telling the truth, it often leads to division. But when love is the motivation, it can lead to healing. Even problems that seem impossible to fix can sometimes be changed with this approach.
We live in a world where truth can feel like it’s on shaky ground. Social media spins its versions of reality. News outlets contradict one another. People sometimes say what others want to hear, not what is honest or helpful. In the midst of this, the Apostle Paul’s words come to us today, as a clear and timely call: “Put away falsehood, and let all of us speak the truth to our neighbours, for we are members of one another.”
These words of Paul hold deep wisdom, not only about how we speak, but about how we live together as a Christian community. Paul invites us to consider the power of truth in our relationships, and how essential it is to the body of Christ.
Paul doesn’t just say, “try to be truthful.” he says, “put away falsehood.”, which means something fake or deceptive. Why begin with putting away falsehood? Because deceit, whether it’s lying outright, misleading by omission, or wearing masks that hide our true selves, undermines trust. It damages our witness. It distances us from others and from God.
Paul is writing to a church, a community of believers, and reminding them that falsehood doesn’t belong in the new life in Christ. It might have been part of their old way of life, but not anymore. In Christ, we are called to be people of integrity, people of truth.
But it’s not enough to stop lying, we’re called to speak the truth. Truth should be the air we breathe and the language we speak. Truthfulness doesn’t mean brutal honesty that hurts or divides. It’s not a license to speak without compassion. The truth Paul is talking about is infused with love, it’s truth for the good of our neighbour, truth that builds up, corrects gently, encourages sincerely.
Think of the kinds of truth we’re called to speak; truth about God’s grace and mercy. Truth in our relationships, where we admit our faults, ask forgiveness, and offer it to others. Truth about our struggles and needs—so that others can walk with us, not around us. In speaking truth, we open the door to genuine community. We create space where love can flourish.
The heart of this verse lies in these words, “for we are members of one another.” Paul reminds us that we’re not isolated individuals, we are connected. We are part of one body, the body of Christ. What affects one, affects all. Believers live for the family. They cannot live as isolated individuals.
May we be a church where truth isn’t just spoken but lived—where each word and action reflect the truth of the gospel. And may we never forget that in Christ, we belong to one another—members of the same body, walking in the light of God’s truth together.
Paul then summarizes his message to the members of the Ephesian church with these words, “Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.” Being kind is not weakness. It’s the everyday practice of choosing compassion over convenience. Tender-heartedness is the opposite of a hardened spirit. It shows compassion, it pays attention, it shares in the sorrow of those who are hurting. Forgiveness is not forgetting or excusing, it’s choosing to forgive others from the debt they owe us, just as Christ released us.
Paul doesn’t just say, “Be kind to those who deserve it.” He says, “to one another.” This includes everyone—especially those we find difficult. Kindness is something we choose to give, not because someone deserves it, but before we even decide if they do. Jesus showed us kindness when we were at our worst. He touched the leper. He dined with sinners. He washed his disciples’ feet, including Judas’. That’s the kind of kindness we’re called to reflect.
Notice the foundation of all this: “as God in Christ has forgiven you.” We don’t forgive because others deserve it. We forgive because we have been forgiven. Ask yourself: Have I allowed my heart to grow hard? Have I closed myself off from others’ needs or pain?
This is what makes a Christian community different. Not that we are free from conflict, but that we are free to forgive. Not that we never fail, but that grace gives us a way forward.
You may be holding onto bitterness right now, maybe toward a family member, a friend, someone in the church. You may have plenty of reasons to feel your anger is justified. But what does God call you to do with it? Lay it down. Not because it’s easy, but because Christ laid down his life for you.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending it didn’t hurt. It means refusing to let the hurt control you anymore. It means trusting God to deal with justice while we walk in mercy. The key to forgiveness is the middle syllable “give.”, we give of ourselves. Forgiveness is a gift we give to those who don’t deserve it. We are kind, compassionate and forgiving to others because that’s how God has treated us.
If you’re a Christian, seeking and granting forgiveness are not optional. Jesus gave this command to his disciples, “‘Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone; so that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses’” (Mark 11:25)
In a fallen world, forgiveness is essential to maintain close relationships. We all need forgiveness, and we all need to grant forgiveness, because we all sin and we all have been sinned against. So may the kindness of Christ overflow in us, shaping how we speak, how we act, and how we love—so that the world might see the heart of God through us.
Let us Pray:
Gracious God, you have shown us kindness beyond measure, tenderness in our weakness, and forgiveness even when we did not deserve it. Teach us to reflect your heart. Help us to be kind in our words, gentle in our responses, and open in our compassion.
Let the love of Christ shape our actions, that we might live as people marked by mercy—kind, tender-hearted, and forgiving, just as you have forgiven us in Christ. In his name we pray, Amen.